What should parents do if the child tell them he gets hit by his classmates in the school?

16. 孩子回家告诉妈妈在学校被同学欺负了,父母该怎么办?

首先我要告诉父母,作为父母一定要了解事情的真实情况,孩子有时候的确受了欺负,但有时候说的话并不是事实的全部。和孩子提问题也要有技巧,比如孩子摔交,聪明的父母和老师不会问孩子"痛不痛",他们会问"不痛的,是吧","没事的,你很坚强是吗"。如果孩子告诉你"我被谁打了",很多父母会问"你有没有还手啊"、"老师有没有罚他啊",其实这些错误的提问方式恰恰引导了孩子错误的回答,应该首先问孩子,"让妈妈看看你有没有受伤","为什么他会打你""前面发生了什么事情",然后把这些事情联想起来再分析。因为有很多时候孩子的思想是紊乱的,他们会把一些以前发生过的或别人身上发生的事情混在一起,又有一些孩子会把"打架"说成"我被打了",但我觉得最重要的是一旦发生这种情况最好是当天或第二天去和老师反映情况,了解真相,父母也应该相信老师会把事情弄清楚并公正的处理。虽然孩子之间有争执是很平常的事情,作为父母和老师要从中引导孩子从小培养诚实、公平、宽容和坚强的性格,这些优良的品质会影响孩子以后对社会、对工作和对人与人之间的态度。

First of all, parents need to know what really happens, because sometimes children will not tell all the truth about the incident, but just complains about the other child. It also takes some skills to ask the child about his condition; for example, clever parents will not ask "Are you in pain?" if they see the child trip and fall, instead they will ask "It is not painful, yes?", "It is okay, you are a tough guy?". If the child tells his parents that "I was beaten by 'little George'", most parents will ask "Did you fight him back?", "Did the teacher punish him for hitting you?"; in fact, this type of wrong questions usually lead to wrong answers. Instead of trying to figure out whether the hitter gets a proper punishment, clever parents would ask "Can you let me see whether you get wounds?", "Why did he hit you?", "what happened before he hit you?"; then based on the answer parents get, they will think carefully about what really happened. It is quite common that a child's thoughts are often mixed up, he will put some incidents happened long time ago, or someone else incidents into his case; furthermore, there are also some children saying "they get beaten by someone", when they really mean fighting with classmates. The most important thing to do when these incidents happen on your child is to talk to the teacher next morning, learning the truth; parents should also believe teachers will get the whole incident clear and treat both children fairly. Although it is quite common to see children have dispute, as parents and teachers should train children to acquire honesty, fairness, tolerance and toughness when they are young, since these good qualities will positively influent children's future relationship and attitude to society, careers and other people.