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What should parents do if the child tell them he gets hit by his classmates in the school?

16. 孩子回家告诉妈妈在学校被同学欺负了,父母该怎么办?


First of all, parents need to know what really happens, because sometimes children will not tell all the truth about the incident, but just complains about the other child. It also takes some skills to ask the child about his condition; for example, clever parents will not ask "Are you in pain?" if they see the child trip and fall, instead they will ask "It is not painful, yes?", "It is okay, you are a tough guy?". If the child tells his parents that "I was beaten by 'little George'", most parents will ask "Did you fight him back?", "Did the teacher punish him for hitting you?"; in fact, this type of wrong questions usually lead to wrong answers. Instead of trying to figure out whether the hitter gets a proper punishment, clever parents would ask "Can you let me see whether you get wounds?", "Why did he hit you?", "what happened before he hit you?"; then based on the answer parents get, they will think carefully about what really happened. It is quite common that a child's thoughts are often mixed up, he will put some incidents happened long time ago, or someone else incidents into his case; furthermore, there are also some children saying "they get beaten by someone", when they really mean fighting with classmates. The most important thing to do when these incidents happen on your child is to talk to the teacher next morning, learning the truth; parents should also believe teachers will get the whole incident clear and treat both children fairly. Although it is quite common to see children have dispute, as parents and teachers should train children to acquire honesty, fairness, tolerance and toughness when they are young, since these good qualities will positively influent children's future relationship and attitude to society, careers and other people.

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